This week 22 – 28 April is National Infertility week and I am joining up with RESOLVE to take part in their #flipthescrip campaign
To find out more about resolve and what they do click here
This year, RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association wants to change the conversation
around infertility with the “#FliptheScript” campaign! When it comes to issues around infertility
and family building, let’s help the public, media, insurers, healthcare professionals and
• The scope of the problem and who is struggling to build a family.
• There are many barriers for millions of people who struggle to build a family. These
barriers include lack of insurance coverage, out-of-pocket costs, faith and religion,
sexual orientation, and state and federal laws.
• The impact of infertility is far reaching – it impacts family, friends, co-workers, and
Infertility at a young age
Can we scrap the infertility is an ‘older’ woman’s issue myth, please? Couples in their 20s can also have fertility issues although more common in later life it can still happen. In fact, just under 44% of women who have IVF are aged between 18 and 34. The idea that only older women need IVF is out of date, too – less than 20% are over 40.
When my partner and I decided to start trying for a baby we had no idea how hard it would be to get pregnant and we never thought we would even have to worry about staying pregnant once the pregnancy test showed positive. being in our early 20s we had no reason to think it wouldn’t happen and just a short two months later I was pregnant but this was just the start of our journey as we found out it was an ectopic pregnancy. You can read more about our ectopic pregnancy here. Doctors told me with a smile on their face no need to worry your young you’ll be pregnant again in a few months one doctor even laughed and said I will see you back on the maternity ward next year and foolish me fully believed I would.
fast forward 6 months with another pregnancy loss at 6 weeks we started to get concerned that maybe it wasn’t going to be that easy Every month that passed we found our self-googling what else we could do adding multivitamins , ovulation tests, charting and even trying silly things women swore by like legs in the air after sex but no matter how much we tried every month ended the same way with a BIG FAT NEGATIVE followed by my period.
Two years passed and still nothing happened, at least not to us. We seemed to be surrounded by people who only needed to look at each other to get pregnant. Couples who hadn’t even met when we first started trying were already lapping us. Our family & friends all had babies; some even managed to have two.
Just relax & it will happen
But it’s not as easy as that infertility is a disease like diabetes or cancer you wouldn’t tell someone with either of these to just relax and you’ll be cured so why does society tell women with infertility to just relax and shell be pregnant?
infertility isn’t just a day of sadness when your period arrives each month, infertility changes you sometimes you don’t even notice but the heartbreak, jealousy and bitterness just takes over I found my self not wanting to be around pregnant women and babies, avoided baby showers and breaking down every time someone announced their expecting news on social media.This can make you feel super alone when everyone around you is starting a family but you are suffering in silence.
I am quite open with my fertility sharing my experince on instagram and a few close friends and family know our strugglies although may not fully undertsnd the pain we go throught. from time to time I still get people ask me the dreaded questions like why havent you had a child yet? I quite francly never thought people would be so unsestive and ask questions like that and us only being in our early 20s I thought we had some time till these questions starting being put to us
Help flip the script on infertility
Things to stop saying to couples going through infertility
- You’re young just be patent
- Relax and it will happen
- Stop asking when we will have a baby
- Try not to have a moan about your kids in front of us your bad night sleep is what we are aching to have
This to say to help women with infertility
- A simple I have no idea what this must feel like but I’m here for you
- Ask if she wants to go for coffee but don’t bring the kids
- Try not to talk about your kids unless she asks
- I know its hard and you want to show your kiddies off to the world but unless she asks don’t shove pictures in her face
How you too can help flip the script on infertility
Inspire others by sharing your story, educate the public by talking about this disease, and being active in infertility community by your social media accounts. Feel free to tag me in your Instagram posts so I too can read your story and maybe learn something from you @ttc_our_rainbow2017
Use the Hashtags: #FlipTheScript #NIAW